Let’s be honest, stud—you’ve spent a lifetime making love, breaking hearts, and swinging your hammer like you were building Rome. But what happens when you croak? What legacy do you leave behind?
A shoebox of receipts, a used bong, and a stack of half-paid bills?
You can do better. You owe it to her.
Don’t let your final act be ghosting the woman who loved your meat more than she loved your mother. It’s time to make your final arrangements like a man—with dignity, pride, and a silicone monument to your manhood.
I’m talking about Clone-A-Willy—the DIY in-home penis molding kit that lets you leave behind a perfectly lifelike replica of your greatest asset…
Your dick.
Preserved for the ages.
Ready for action.
Cold, hard comfort on lonely nights when she misses your laugh, your touch, and the way you used to snore through her orgasms.
The original Clone-A-Willy Kit lets you create a homemade dildo out of 100% platinum cure, medical-grade silicone. It’s body-safe, easy to use, and available in nine thrilling colors. Dildo it yourself, champ. It’s estate planning, SCREW-style. The new Last Will & Test-a-dick.
Because when the casseroles stop coming and the insurance check bounces, she’s gonna need something to ride. Something to hold. Something to remember you by that isn’t a crusty bathrobe or your half-finished jar of pickles.
You handled your business in life. Now handle it in death.
Clone your willy. Seal your legacy. Die a legend.
Be sure to check out the Clone-A-Willy + Balls Kit, too — for that added something extra. And while you’re at it, might as well Clone Her Pussy, too…
The original Clone-A-Pussy Kit lets you mold a non-functional, exact replica of the outer portion of any vulva. Want to take it further? The Clone-A-Pussy Plus+ Kit comes with a masturbation sleeve, letting you turn her pretty parts into a fully functional DIY “stroker” sex toy.
It’s not just cloning. It’s curating. Her part is fine art.
For more info on preserving your pecker—or immortalizing her paradise—visit CloneAWilly.com. Because love may fade, but silicone’s forever.
This has been a public service announcement from your friends at SCREW.
—P.
