BY CHE DUBOIS
Let’s get one thing straight: You don’t need to be a perv to write for SCREW. But it helps. Helps what, exactly? Helps you understand the world a little better. Helps you write with a sharper eye. Helps you push boundaries with a little more gusto. Helps you laugh at things most people are too scared to whisper in the dark. And isn’t that what writing for SCREW is all about?
We’re open for submissions. That’s right. Whether you’re a veteran troublemaker or just turned 18 with something to say and nothing to lose, we want to hear from you. There’s no byline more prestigious — or notorious — than a SCREW byline. You’d be joining the ranks of real literary and cultural arsonists: Andy Warhol, Gore Vidal, William S. Burroughs, Allen Ginsberg, Larry Flynt, and of course, Al Goldstein, our founding father of filth.
We don’t care where you went to school, or if you even did. We don’t care how many followers you have or how well you spell (okay, maybe a little). All we care about is this: Are you funny? Are you fearless? Are you mad enough to tell the truth about sex, power, politics, censorship, and the carnival of absurdity that is modern life?
Here’s how it works: use the old-fashioned query form below. That means: pitch your piece. Give us a taste of your idea, your angle, and why you’re the sick bastard (term of endearment) to write it. Don’t know what a query is? Google it, figure it out, and then get back to us. This isn’t a daycare for wannabe influencers. This is SCREW.
Our publishing model? Think Spotify but with more lube and fewer guitars. Writers earn a pro-rated percentage of our website’s total revenue (ads, affiliates, and so on) based on the total views for all articles on our site — so not only should you write something worth reading, you should also share the hell out of it. More clicks, more bucks. Hustle like a stripper with a student loan. Payouts are monthly via ACH, Paypal or crypto.
You can also solicit tips directly from your article and author blurb. You keep 100%, of course, and if you’re lucky, soon there will be “no tax on tips”, so you’ll earn more money and be rich and no longer have to survive by “eating the dogs, and the pets, of the people who live there”.
What can you write about? Anything — as long as it’s not an obvious ad, not hate speech, and not illegal (use your judgment, or better yet, ours). We’re especially hungry for content that’s funny, horny, political, weird, brave, filthy, true, and above all, original. Right-wing, left-wing, no-wing, we don’t care. If your piece is provocative and honest, we’re in.
Questions? Email me, Chenille DuBois, Managing Editor: info@screw.wtf. DO NOT EMAIL PHIL.
See you in the gutter.
— CD
