
- Joel Osteen Jerks Off.Joel Osteen follows Billy Graham’s lead with the “Modesto Manifesto,” I wonder if he also shares Billy’s thoughts on Jews… (Oh, and like me, they both jerk off.)
- St. Valentine’s Day Ass-acreI could blame it on COVID and the pandemic or I could just accept the fact that I’m a loser without a date on Valentine’s Day, or I could just get a hooker…
- Goodbye Dear Friend.In Honor of Larry Claxton FlyntFounder, HustlerNovember 1, 1942 – February 10, 2021 Today we lost a true, self-made American success story, a lifelong patriot […]
- Who the Frick is Funky Claude?THIS MAN IS A ROCK-N-ROLL LEGEND. Who the fuck is he? I’m glad you asked… Meet Claude Nobs a/k/a “Funky Claude” (February 4, 1936 – […]
- The Bush is Back, Bitches!I once shaved my pubes completely and my cock and balls looked like they were lit up like an airport runway for a 747 jumbo vagina. Never again.
- The Uber PornographerI feel like Matt McConaughey’s character, lawyer Mickey Haller, in The Lincoln Lawyer except I’m more like, Philly Baller, The Uber Pornographer…
- Dead Sam Kinison Has a Message for Us All.I had a dream last night that Sam Kinison returned from the dead with a breathtaking personal message of hope for the world …from the great beyond.
- The First Time I Ate Ethiopian…I always imagined “Ethiopian Cuisine” would consist of creamed corn and sliced beets and all that other unwanted canned shit we donate and air-drop on them every year. But I was wrong…
- “America is Better Than This!” – Um, No We’re Not.While the world watched in horror as hundreds of Trump supporters wreaked havoc on our nation’s Capitol, people on both sides cried, “America is better than this!” – but sadly, no, we’re not.
- Blame It All On Me.“But I like to read the articles!” The reason I write this shit is so YOU have a reason to subscribe to SCREW other than just PORN…