- Joel Osteen Jerks Off.
Joel Osteen follows Billy Graham’s lead with the “Modesto Manifesto,” I wonder if he also shares Billy’s thoughts on Jews… (Oh, and like me, they both jerk off.) - St. Valentine’s Day Ass-acre
I could blame it on COVID and the pandemic or I could just accept the fact that I’m a loser without a date on Valentine’s Day, or I could just get a hooker… - Goodbye Dear Friend.
In Honor of Larry Claxton FlyntFounder, HustlerNovember 1, 1942 – February 10, 2021 Today we lost a true, self-made American success story, a lifelong patriot […] - Who the Frick is Funky Claude?
THIS MAN IS A ROCK-N-ROLL LEGEND. Who the fuck is he? I’m glad you asked… Meet Claude Nobs a/k/a “Funky Claude” (February 4, 1936 – […] - The Bush is Back, Bitches!
I once shaved my pubes completely and my cock and balls looked like they were lit up like an airport runway for a 747 jumbo vagina. Never again. - The Uber Pornographer
I feel like Matt McConaughey’s character, lawyer Mickey Haller, in The Lincoln Lawyer except I’m more like, Philly Baller, The Uber Pornographer… - Dead Sam Kinison Has a Message for Us All.
I had a dream last night that Sam Kinison returned from the dead with a breathtaking personal message of hope for the world …from the great beyond. - The First Time I Ate Ethiopian…
I always imagined “Ethiopian Cuisine” would consist of creamed corn and sliced beets and all that other unwanted canned shit we donate and air-drop on them every year. But I was wrong… - “America is Better Than This!” – Um, No We’re Not.
While the world watched in horror as hundreds of Trump supporters wreaked havoc on our nation’s Capitol, people on both sides cried, “America is better than this!” – but sadly, no, we’re not. - Blame It All On Me.
“But I like to read the articles!” The reason I write this shit is so YOU have a reason to subscribe to SCREW other than just PORN…