BY TESS TICKLES
Back in 1996, when America Online ruled the night and your modem sounded like a dying robot in heat, some genius decided to document the online grope-fest that was early internet sex chat. How to Have CyberSex on the Internet is a gloriously awkward time capsule from the age of floppy disks and floppier libidos. It’s got all the sensual charm of a RadioShack instruction manual and the production value of a corporate training video about sexual harassment—only this one encourages it.
Four women show you how to surf the world of live interactive computer sex. Enter online chat rooms and find wild romance with people across the country. We learn how live, real-time cybersex explores our sexual fantasies, on the internet sexual playground. Intense, stimulating safe sex encounters, taped live in cyberspace!
In the end, How to Have CyberSex on the Internet is less of a tutorial and more of a sociological relic. Proof that before swipe-right hookups and VR dick suits, people got off by typing. And if that doesn’t make you respect your ancestors, nothing will.
Verdict:
It’s educational, it’s erotic (by accident), and it’s Exhibit A in the case of Why Boomers Should Never Have Discovered the Internet.
Watch it with pants off, if only out of historical respect.
—TT
