The stock market is taking a kamikaze nosedive this week with the news, panic, and fear of President Trump’s new tariffs on everyone in the world including Antarctica (for real), losing more than $2.4 trillion in market value virtually overnight. And while all this tariff bullshit is certainly a dick move, the Dow Jones falling 1,600 points as a result is not exactly the end-of-the-world the media wants you to think it is. In other words, it’s not like he pressed the nuke button, or anything. Not yet, anyway. Give him a minute, it’s only been 70-something days.

Not to defend Donald Trump, but Wall Street’s favorite magic trick is making you think the Dow Jones Industrial Average means something. The media treats it like a holy grail of economic health, but for real, the Dow is a rigged game, a carnival con, a corporate PR stunt designed to keep the rubes pacified while the real money gets siphoned off by the big boys.

First off, the Dow Jones Industrial Average isn’t some eternal, unchanging barometer of the economy. It’s a curated, hand-picked list of 30 companies that get swapped in and out whenever the powers that be decide they need a new coat of paint on their bullshit indicator. General Electric? Gone after over a century. Kodak? Booted long before it collapsed. The companies that struggle get shuffled out, and thriving ones get ushered in, so the number keeps climbing over time. It’s like keeping a sports team undefeated by benching your worst players and hiring ringers every season.

And guess what? That’s exactly the point. If the Dow truly reflected the health of the economy, it wouldn’t need a facelift every few years. The idea is to manufacture a sense of progress, to keep people thinking, “Hey, the Dow’s up, so everything must be fine!” Meanwhile, wages stagnate, the cost of living skyrockets, and the working class gets squeezed like a spent tube of toothpaste.

The suits on Wall Street love to peddle panic whenever the Dow takes a dive. “Oh no, the market’s crashing! Doom! Gloom!” But don’t fall for the hysteria. The stock market isn’t the economy — it’s just a casino for rich people. The U.S. economy is much more than a few tech stocks and investment banks playing hot potato with billions. Unlike the 1920s, when a market crash meant total economic ruin, today we’ve got a diversified landscape of industries, digital commerce, global trade, and — let’s be honest — plenty of government safety nets to keep the whole thing from imploding overnight.

So when the Dow spikes or plummets, don’t let the talking heads fool you. The real economy is in your paycheck, your rent, your groceries, and your ability to live a decent life without drowning in debt. And until the politicians and corporate overlords start giving a damn about that, don’t expect the Dow to tell you anything worth a damn.

Panic? Hell no. The only people who should be panicking are the ones who bought the lie in the first place.

— P.

Phil Italiano

Publisher, Visionary, Provocateur

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