The Uber Pornographer
I feel like Matt McConaughey’s character, lawyer Mickey Haller, in The Lincoln Lawyer except I’m more like, Philly Baller, The Uber Pornographer…
News Feed
Dead Sam Kinison Has a Message for Us All.
I had a dream last night that Sam Kinison returned from the dead with a breathtaking personal message of hope for the world …from the great beyond.
“Something”
A kinda dirty poem by Robert Creeley, originally published in SCREW #80 for the week of September 14, 1970.
The First Time I Ate Ethiopian…
I always imagined “Ethiopian Cuisine” would consist of creamed corn and sliced beets and all that other unwanted canned shit we donate and air-drop on them every year. But I was wrong…
Blame It All On Me.
“But I like to read the articles!” The reason I write this shit is so YOU have a reason to subscribe to SCREW other than just PORN…
Buh-Bleep, Buh-Bleep, Buh-Bleep, Biden’s No Better Folks!
Most people have me all wrong. Just because I’m not pro-Trump doesn’t mean I’m pro-Biden. Sure I think Biden is the lesser of the two evils, but I think America has just done what it always does: we replaced one shady character with another.
PERVING 101: How to Become a Panty-Sniffing Snob
Picking up a pair of women’s panties to smell them may sound easy enough, but according to the world’s leading experts – known as the crotch cognoscenti – 99% of men (and women, too) do it wrong. Discover the Art of Sniffing Panties in four simple steps…
SCREW Now Accepts Walmart Gift Cards!
You can now subscribe to SCREW Magazine – and SCREW TV with Unlimited Streaming – with the anonymity, safety and convenience of a Walmart eGift Card.
Antibiotic Overuse Gives Rise to Mutant ‘Super Gonorrhea’
Just when we thought we were leaving 2020 behind for the greener pastures of a whole new year, along comes the greener discharge of a foiled villain who’s mutated and returned bigger, faster and stronger than ever – meet Super Gonorrhea.
Sexual Spelunking.
Where’s “Kids Say The Darndest Things” when you need them?
God Bless Porn.
Every time you enter that credit card on the Internet to buy a gift for someone for Jesus Christ’s birthday remember that just about every […]
Guys, There’s Nothing Gay About Ass Play.
For many men (especially my age) our assholes are sacred ground; a One Way street, a no-go zone, off-limits, DO NOT ENTER. That’s because most […]
SCREW Remembers Our Own Al Goldstein (1936-2013)
A tribute to SCREW’s legendary co-founder and publisher, Al Goldstein – porn pioneer and America’s most hated publisher.
SCROTUS: A Yugely Penile Portrait of Donald Trump
There is perhaps no monument more befitting to mark the end of four, long years of Donald Trump’s failed presidency than one created entirely of old, rusty orange dildos…
When Life Throws You…
Because someone out there needs to read this today. Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s a friend. Feel free to share it.