There is perhaps no artist more deserving a feature in SCREW than Sun Ping, the Master Shifu of Vagina Calligraphy, and the Chinese Artist’s Association’s own Public Enemy Number One. Back in 2016, the CAA “abolished” the membership of Artist #3685 — because of Communism, artists have numbers not names (pretty fucking creepy) — and yeah, they said abolished, not revoked, because he pissed them off on so many levels.

Sun Ping’s art is rather unique, to say the least. Obviously, he doesn’t have a vagina (at least we don’t think he does) so he doesn’t actually perform the art himself, but rather orchestrates it. He starts by inserting a large calligraphy brush into the twat of his subject (let’s call her the “vaginiste“) who then clenches it with her pussy lips, squats over a large sheet of parchment and goes about drawing the ancient symbols of Chinese calligraphy.

Ping films the vaginiste at work and then edits it into a multimedia presentation like the one below from 2006, entitled “Unknown Tao.” We’re not sure where, exactly, his art is later exhibited but apparently someone somewhere enjoys it.

“Unknown Tao” — Sun Ping

According to the Chinese Artist’s Association, which was founded in 1949, Ping’s “sexual calligraphy” is “vulgar”, has “an adverse effect” and “inflicts considerable damage” on Chinese society, as well as the association’s reputation. Even better, they said his art “defiles the tradition of Chinese calligraphy,” and is officially banned in China. Oh damn. It’s not wonder he wasn’t executed. (We know how it feels though, SCREW was officially banned in China since 1969.)

Chinese calligraphy (not the vagina kind) is a sacred tradition dating back to 4,000 BC. Throughout China’s history, important members of society, from the Emperor on down, were expected to show strong skills in calligraphy writing. To this day, according to Travel China, having mad calligraphy skillz is the Chinese equivalent of an America with a Lamborghini — it adds inches to your otherwise tiny dick.

As for Ping, he calls the out-of-touch Chinese Artist’s Association “extremely conservative” and says he finds all the drama hilarious. We reached out to the CAA for comment but couldn’t understand a fucking thing they said because none of us speaks Chinese. Although we did just receive four General Tso’s combos with wonton soup and eggroll, so maybe we ordered takeout instead.

Anyway, somewhere Jackson Pollock is pissed he didn’t think of using his balls.

—P

Phil Italiano

Publisher, Visionary, Provocateur

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