Inside The Vatican’s Hi-Tech War on Child Sex Abuse …Allegations.
The Roman Catholic Church has announced that child sex abuse allegations against priests are at an all-time low since they began requiring priests to carry Neuralyzers…
Funny Shit
Woman’s Dirty Clam Produces Rare Pearl.
(PORTLAND, OR) – A Portland woman baffled scientists recently when she spit a rare black pearl out of her nasty twat…
CLITERARY CLASSICS: Screwtiny On The Bounty
The New York Times didn’t call it, “A brutal redux of the literary classic that is equal parts science fiction, spy thriller, gay erotica and love story finished with an extraordinary modern twist that reveals once and for all what really happened to Jeffrey Epstein.”
Blame It All On Me.
“But I like to read the articles!” The reason I write this shit is so YOU have a reason to subscribe to SCREW other than just PORN…
Sexual Spelunking.
Where’s “Kids Say The Darndest Things” when you need them?
Leave the Cart, Take the Cannoli.
Grocery stores have saved thousands by brainwashing you into thinking you’re doing the right thing by returning your shopping cart…
The Ancient Chinese Secrets of ‘The Art of Whore’
For 2,500 years this sacred text lay hidden, petrified in jizz, in the suckatorium of a shitty whorehouse in Shanghai – and now for the first time ever, SCREW has translated it to English…
“The Fuckin’ Night Before Christmas” (Audio)
Listen as SCREW publisher Phil Autelitano defiles the timeless Christmas classic, “The Night Before Christmas,” with his own version, “The Fuckin’ Night Before Christmas.” WARNING: […]
Someone Needs to Invent ‘The NanoBagel’
This unassuming bagel may look like a plain bagel, but it’s actually any flavor bagel you want — thanks to miracle of nanotechnology, and your […]
That’s What You Get You Stupid Bitch.
I was walking out of Kroger this evening when I noticed a woman struggling with some bags. I offered to help her to her car […]